Get Out Of Your Mind...
And Into Your Senses
A Practical Guide to Using Meditation in Your Life
by
Monica Romeo
SMASHWORDS EDITION
© Monica Romeo 2007
ISBN 978-988-99821-1-9
First published in Hong Kong by Monica Romeo
Edited by Giles Publications
Illustrations by Zoe O’Reilly
Typesetting by Fran Bolland
Printing and binding by Regal Printing Hong Kong
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise without the prior written permission of the publishers.
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About the Author
Monica Romeo worked as a Social Worker in Australia for many years. She now writes and teaches meditation in Hong Kong.
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For Therese and Orlando
The gift that you gave me
is more than enough.
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Acknowledgements
My gratitude to Eric who opened the door, and to Lisa, who stood with me on the other side.
Thanks also to Bev and Barbara who walked the first steps with me, to Spider who hosted me at Mombasa café while I was completing this manuscript, and to all of you who have sat or walked in meditation with me throughout my life. You have all helped me to become a better teacher.
A special thanks to Leonie for her skilled editing and emotional support.
Finally, to David, who has been with me in chaos and in stillness, in friendship and in love. Grazie Tesoro!
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Contents
Part I Get out of your Mind
Chapter 1 Defining Meditation
Chapter 2 Stages of Meditation
Chapter 3 Making Time to Meditate
Chapter 4 Why Meditate?
Chapter 5 Choosing and Using Meditation Objects
Chapter 6 The Process of Meditation
Chapter 7 The Importance of the Breath
Part II … and into your Senses
Chapter 8 Sight
Chapter 9 Sound
Chapter 10 Taste
Chapter 11 Smell
Chapter 12 Touch
Part III Meditating for Specific Purposes
Chapter 13 To Deal with Pain
Chapter 14 To Help you Sleep
Chapter 15 To Solve Problems
Chapter 16 To Create Tranquillity during Busy Days
Chapter 17 To Feel More Loving
Chapter 18 To Let Go
Chapter 19 To Deal with Stress
Chapter 20 To Deal with Panic Attacks
Chapter 21 To Achieve Goals
Chapter 22 To Face your Mortality
Chapter 23 To Watch your Thoughts and Increase Awareness
Chapter 24 Meditating using Chakras
Chapter 25 Mini Meditations and other Quickies!
Part IV Final Words
Chapter 26 Further Benefits of a Regular Meditation Practice
Chapter 27 A Word or Two about Balance
and finally
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Introduction
Years ago, I knew a woman who smoked heavily, drank too much coffee, worked too hard and could not sit still. She slept little, ate less and often had headaches. That woman was me.
I am not going to tell you that meditation has made my life perfect, but it has helped to transform it. I am a much calmer, healthier, and happier person now than I was then.
When I first became interested in meditation over twenty-five years ago, it was usually taught by religious or spiritual groups. I attended numerous sessions and explored many different traditions and styles, but I did not find what I was looking for. I simply wanted to know what meditation was and how to do it. I was not interested in the complete spiritual and lifestyle packages usually on offer, “guru” included, so I read extensively, turned to nature, and started to meditate on my own.
It was a practice founded on curiosity and a passion to understand, but at first it was not regular or coherent. During a particularly difficult time in my life, I intuitively began to meditate more frequently, turning inward and making time for stillness. Gradually, I began to notice the benefits, both physical and emotional. I slowed down and became more aware. I became calmer, less stressed and better able to handle difficult situations. I decided to take meditation more seriously and began searching for the right teacher.
Eric Harrison was that person, a gifted Western teacher who demystified meditation and made it accessible. In Eric, I found someone who could answer my questions and explain what meditation was, clearly and concisely, someone who could confirm that I had been on the right track all along. Since then, I have been teaching meditation in Western Australia and Hong Kong to individuals and small groups and I have seen other transformations taking place.
It takes patience, commitment, and action but if you meditate regularly, the benefits can be enormous.
This book is for anyone who wants to make some positive changes in their lives, whether it is to become calmer and more relaxed, more creative, happier or healthier. It is also for anyone who wants to handle difficult situations better, lessen the impact of emotional or physical pain, or simply wants to live life in the present and enjoy it fully. These are only some of the proven benefits of meditating.
In the following pages, you will learn what meditation is and what it isn’t, how to use different meditation objects and how to choose ones that best suit your learning style. You will learn the difference between mindfulness and formal meditation, and how both can affect your body, mind, and spirit. You will learn that meditation is a simple skill that anyone can relearn. I say “relearn” because as children we are able to meditate intuitively but sadly most of us lose this abilitywhen we grow up.
The key is practice. When you learn any new skill, you must build new neural pathways in your brain. Then it becomes easy. It becomes a habit. With practice, you can learn to meditate even in noisy, public places. All you need to do is find a meditation object that works for you.
Meditation is as relevant and useful for anyone who is stressed and living in the “real” world as it is for a yogi meditating in a cave or on a mountaintop far removed from the stresses of modern life. Bring your open and critical mind, a willingness to try and the discipline to committo practise and you will soon be meditating successfully on your own.
A small disclaimer;
Most of the information in this book is not new. It can be found in different forms in every culture and religion. It is ancient wisdom and belongs to all of us. For the most part, I am merely an interpreter, with only the occasional input of my own.
If you want to know more about the history and diversity of meditation practices and traditions there are many excellent books on the subject.
This book is simply my way of making meditation accessible and relevant for those people who might not otherwise have benefited from this simple and powerful practice.
Best wishes on your journey!
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Part I
Get out of your Mind …
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CHAPTER 1
The fact that you are looking at this book means that you are interested in making some positive changes in your life. All you need now is the motivation to try something new and the commitment to doing it a sufficient number of times for it to become a habit. When you learn anything new, it feels strange at first, but if you stick with it, it becomes easier and soon you are doing it without thinking. Eventually, your brain recognises that this is something familiar, it knows what comes next and it helps you to do it effortlessly. So, the key to learning to meditate is simply making the commitment to do so, and then taking some action!
If you are interested in meditation, it usually means you want more of something in your life, perhaps more tranquillity, more wellbeing or more balance. To bring about a change you have to do something differently. You can’t just read about meditating. You have to experience it. You can’t know what food tastes like by having someone describe it to you. You have to try it to experience the flavour and texture. In the same way, you have to experience the sensations and feeling of meditation to appreciate its benefits. So you need to be motivated and you need to do something different.
Sounds easy? It is! And yet it is its very simplicity that often makes meditation so difficult for some people to master. We are conditioned to overlook the simple, to disregard it as having little value. We look for complex and challenging ways to make our lives meaningful. Yet it is simplicity that usually brings the greatest happiness. And happiness is one of the things we all want more of, right?
At times happiness can seem elusive yet we all have moments when we feel truly happy. Usually, they are moments when we feel relaxed or at peace. Often we also feel a sense of competence or efficacy, not necessarily because we have done something or achieved something but because in that moment we are “aware” and we are “being” rather than “doing”. We are totally engaged in what we are experiencing without judging it. Meditation is a bit a like that.
So what is Meditation?
There are many different definitions of meditation, but simply put …
Meditation is the practice of creating moments of awareness.
How does it feel when you meditate?
Well, have you ever watched a beautiful sunset, or listened to the ocean rolling onto the shore and for a moment felt a sense of tranquillity, inner peace or connection?
That is the same feeling you can experience when you meditate.
The word Meditation comes from the Sanskrit word Mehta, meaning wisdom. The practice of Meditation dates back over 2500 years. Its beginnings are commonly attributed to an Indian sage called Patanjali. However, there is evidence that meditation was also practised in China around the same time. There are many different traditions and styles but the essence of all meditation practices is the same.
You focus on one thing and let everything else go.
What you focus on is called the meditation object and it can be anything; the tip of your nose, your breath or a candle flame. It doesn’t matter. What matters is that you focus on something, so that your attention shifts from your thoughts to your senses, to what you can see and hear and feel, to what you can touch and taste. By doing this, your body relaxes and your mind calms down. It’s as simple asthat. The key to most meditation practices is to get out of your mind and into your senses!
Meditation is not fantasising, falling asleep, stopping your thoughts, blanking your mind or even relaxing, although when you meditate your body naturally becomes more relaxed.
The main difference between meditation and relaxation is that when you relax, you may drift off, daydream or even fall asleep, whereas when you meditate your mind is aware and alert.
As you meditate more frequently you will notice changes; in your body and in your emotional responses. As you continue to meditate, you will notice that your meditation practice becomes deeper and more significant in your life and you will experience different stages of meditation.
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CHAPTER 2
When you meditate, you move from a ‘normal’, busy mind to a concentrating mind to a meditating mind. At each stage, the focus is different.
Normal Busy Mind
A normal, busy mind is usually full of thoughts. Generally, the energy is scattered, as attention bounces from one thing to another. Thoughts can be about anything; money, food, family, job, friends, the weather, politics. They can be positive or negative depending on your emotional and physical response to the situation. In this stage, the focus keeps shifting and you can easily become tired and stressed.
Stage 1 – Concentrating Mind
In the first stage of meditation you begin to relax, your mind becomes calmer as the focus is on your meditation object. As a beginning meditator, you will usually be easily distracted, but when you become aware of it you can gently refocus your attention back to the meditation object.
Stage 2 – Meditating Mind
In the second stage of meditation the focus is solely on the meditation object. You begin to identify with it and take on its qualities. You are totally absorbed in what you are doing.
Stage 3 – Deeper States
In deeper meditative states, the meditation object disappears altogether. There is only consciousness. For me, this state happens when I least expect it and it is a deeply moving and emotional experience. It is a state of real connection, awareness and bliss.
To feel the benefits of meditation, it is not necessary to experience all the stages. Even in the first stage of meditation, moments of deep relaxation, stillness and tranquillity are possible. The more frequently you meditate the more benefits you will experience.
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CHAPTER 3
Most of us go through life on a sort of automatic pilot. We respond to external stimuli by allowing ourselves to be driven by our thoughts and emotions. We are rarely cognisant of what is going on in our physical, emotional and spiritual world unless we face a crisis. We tend to lead time-poor, stressful lives, rarely stopping to nurture ourselves or listen to what our mind and body is saying. If we did, if we listened to that part of us which is wise and all-knowing we would hear it begging for some respite, asking for more balance and stillness in our lives. It would urge us to create moments in our day to recharge our batteries and reflect. Sadly, most of us decide that we simply do not have the time to do that.
What if I were to tell you that you do not always need to make time to meditate, that you can meditate simply by changing the way you use the time you already have?
Let me explain.
There are two types of meditation; formal meditation and mindfulness.
Formal Meditation
Let’s take formal meditation first. This is where you make time in your busy day to sit and meditate. You usually set aside a certain period of time and find a place where you will not be disturbed. You might create a ritual, like changing into comfortable clothes, lighting a candle or incense or sitting in a certain place. Then you focus on a particular meditation object. This could be your breath, a candle flame, the ticking of a clock, a mantra, moving clouds or any number of things.
The process goes something like this.
You prepare to meditate.
• Then you start to focus on your meditation object.
• Then you will be distracted.
• Then you notice that you are distracted.
• Then you gently bring your attention back to your meditation object.
• Then you become distracted again.
Then you refocus …
This process is repeated until the meditation is over.
When you first start meditating, there may only be a short time between focusing and being distracted. However, the longer you practise, the longer the moments of stillness will be and it is in these moments that the real benefits of meditation occur.
Mindfulness
Now let’s look at the second type of meditation. It is called Mindfulness and it does not require you to create any extra time in your day. For this reason it is a good way to begin meditating.
Mindfulness is …
Having your mind full of what you are doing, as you are doing it.
I have previously suggested that the key to meditation is to “Get out of your mind and into your senses” and now I am telling you that you have to have your mind “full”. Isn’t this a contradiction? No, because “getting out of your mind” is not having an empty mind.
It is about shifting your focus from your thoughts to something else. In both Formal meditation and Mindfulness the focus is usually on one of the senses. For example, meditating on the breath may involve feeling the breath in your chest or seeing the breath as a wave ebbing and flowing in your body. Being mindful may involve hearing the sound of the kettle boiling, feeling the temperature of the hot cup in your hand or smelling the aroma of freshly brewed coffee.
Take meal times for example. Most of us are hardly aware of what we are eating, because we are too busy talking or lost in our thoughts. If we stopped and paid attention to what was going on, to what we were eating, to the person who was eating with us, to what we were feeling as we were eating, it would be a very different experience.
By eating slowly, chewing food more thoroughly and savouring each mouthful, we would enjoy our food more, eat less, have fewer digestive problems, and be less likely to put on weight from overeating. All this from just paying attention and being mindful!
Eating is just one activity we can do mindfully. There are many others. You can shower or have a cup of tea mindfully. You can prepare food or do chores like ironing or gardening mindfully.
The possibilities are endless and the process is easy. You just shift your attention to your senses and to what you are actually doing. You simply ask yourself …
• What can I see?
• What can I hear?
• What can I feel?
• What can I taste?
• What can I smell?
Take time to experience your response to these questions. Mindfulness is about being conscious and aware. It is about really experiencing what is happening to you and around you rather than being on automatic pilot.
So what activities do you usually do on automatic pilot each day?
Here are some possibilities.
• Showering
• Brushing your teeth
• Having sex
• Preparing food
• Cleaning
• Ironing
To do them mindfully simply follow the process below.
Make a decision to do the activity mindfully.
“I am going to really experience having a shower through all of my senses.”
Take three slow breaths in through the nose and out through the mouth.
Then breathe normally (in and out through the nose).
Shift from thinking to sensing.