Think Like a Computer
by J. Clarke Stevens
Smashwords Edition
Copyright 2010 J. Clarke Stevens
Smashwords Edition, License Notes
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Contents
The All-Seeing Eye
I went into the restroom in the new department store
To do just what I’d done in restrooms many times before.
I did and then I reached to flush and noticed to my horror
The flusher I’d expected was no more.
At first I thought the plumbing had been plummered by some fool
Who’d missed the day they talked of valves in restroom plumbing school.
But then I thought, “It’s not my fault,” and broke the social rule
And turned to walk away – unflushed – uncool.
No sooner had I turned than I was startled by a roar –
That common sound I’d heard in restrooms many times before.
I thought it might be mocking me – although I wasn’t sure.
But it’s something that I needed to explore.
I stepped in close again and then I listened in the hush,
And then I turned as if to go to see if it would flush.
Although I hadn’t done a thing, the beast began to gush
And set my thoughts to spinning in a rush.
Was there some guy behind the wall who flushed when you were done?
Was there some timer set to track the movement of the sun?
Was the water being scanned for trace amounts of onion bun?
I wasn’t sure, but this was getting fun.
I walked from left to right and watched the flushing follow suit.
Then I marched from right to left again as fast as I could scoot.
Then I belted out a chorus with a holler and a hoot.
I’m the conductor of the plumbing institute.
And then I saw the faucets and the soap and gave a shout.
They all turned on with one deft swipe beneath each golden spout.
My symphony was fabulous – of that there is no doubt.
Then the janitor came in and kicked me out.