Hyacinth & Richard Bucket
A Brief Visit into the Life of a Proper English Gentlewoman
Explanation
The characters in my story are based on those found in the “Keeping up Appearances” BBC comedy. The series ran from 1990-1993 and again in 1995. A total of 44 episodes were made. This includes 4 Christmas specials.
I have used the show to build what I hope you will find to be real lives of real people. You will read about what I think might have taken place before and after the show ended.
If you end up feeling you know Hyacinth, Richard or even Sheridan better, I have succeeded. Thanks, and enjoy my story…
Introduction
You might not remember me; I was the fellow living in the house down the street from Hyacinth and Richard Bucket, beside Cedric and Isobel Barker-Finch. You probably saw me walking my dog past her house. I lived there for a number of years, until I was transferred back to Canada in the early 1990s.
They were, of course, very sorry to see me leave, not many people seemed to enjoy her candlelight suppers as much I did. Why, I even babysat for Sheridan a few times (whenever I could not think of a good excuse not to look after that spoiled hellion)
I still travel to England periodically and always stop by to visit my old friends, including Richard and Hyacinth whenever possible to catch up on old times.
On one of my trips a number of years ago, we were discussing our younger days. We spoke about a couple that we knew who had just gotten married. Their story was incredible, with all the strange co-incidences having taken place, just so that these folks could end up together.
She said that she and Richard met under some odd circumstances as well.
Richard nodded and told her to tell me the story. She always told it better. She smiled too; and over the next hour told me their incredible story.
So here it is; just as Hyacinth told it to me….
Chapter One
Many of you did not know that Hyacinth and Richard’s path crossed twice before it merged.
Richard was living with his parents in a nice middle-class home in a suburb of London. Being an only child, Richard was catered to by his mother, Ophelia. He did relatively well in school. He tended to be on the shy side, never making a lot of friends. Richard’s father, Fuller, was the owner of a Post Office shop. He spent his entire career working in the same job and location.
Hyacinth also lived with her parents and her three sisters; Violet, Daisy and Rose. They lived in a small house in a blue-collar area. Their father, Arthur, had returned from his time in the war slightly disturbed. He had a difficult time from then on holding onto a job. Their mother, Iris, held the family together. She worked hard, long hours as a maid in some of the wealthier parts of town. Her meager earnings were supplemented by the disability pension that came monthly for her husband.
As the family grew, they moved into another small council house, the same one that they still live in.
Much of what came for him was spent in the local pub. Through all the hard times however, Iris always had a smile and a kind word for all. Many times when the rent-man came by, there was nothing left to give him. Hyacinth’s grandmother Edwina lived close by as well. Their grandfather had already passed away a number of years back.
Hyacinth, at a very young age, was appalled by the life that she was born into. She devoured stories about the moneyed lives of the Royals. She went to bed many nights dreaming about leaving her dreary and poor existence, and moving into a posh home. She felt that she belonged there, among them.
Hyacinth had a special relationship with her mummy; the two shared a great love for music and singing. Many times they would sit around singing opera pieces on an old piano they had rescued from a junk man. Hyacinth was self-taught.
She worked at odd jobs during the school year to raise enough money to buy fabrics. She made some smart dresses on an old sewing machine that her mother had been given by one of the ladies that she cleaned for.
She always had a battle with her sister, Daisy, who never seemed to care what she looked like, and Rose, her baby sister, who always dressed and acted like the wild and promiscuous teen that she was. Violet, a very quiet and private girl, seemed to always move in her own circles, and Hyacinth never seemed to talk to her very often.
Richard and Hyacinth’s joint history started during these difficult school days. Both of them had done well in their “11 Plus” exams, and both had gone to a Grammar School.
A number of these schools throughout the country began to offer their students tours of what they considered to be important British institutions and homes.
When the tour of Sandringham House came up, Hyacinth, who was 14 at the time, jumped at the opportunity, and signed up immediately, even though the cost was somewhat of a hardship for her family.
In Richard’s case, his mother felt that it was important for him to see, what she considered to be the pride of the British Empire. At fifteen, he would be old enough to get a better appreciation of what went before.
On that day, Hyacinth dressed up in her finest clothing. She had seen many pictures of the place and hoped, one day, to furnish her own house in the same tasteful fashion.
There were three busses that arrived for the afternoon tour with Hyacinth and Richard among them.
After a busy and interesting tour, both had decided to return to their buses somewhat early, Richard leaving first. Hyacinth, who is dyslexic, made a slight error in the choosing of her bus, which was number 42. She accidentally reversed the numbers and went to bus number 24 instead. When she returned to what she thought to be her seat, there was a young, stringy looking chap with red hair sitting in her seat!
She said: “See here young man, I will not have you sitting in my seat. Please move immediately or I will be forced to summon the bus driver.” Richard stammered in his quiet way, that he was in the correct seat. He introduced himself to her. She thought to herself that he had such a distasteful last name. After berating Richard a bit more, she finally did realize that she was indeed in the incorrect vehicle.
Instead of apologizing for her rude and abrupt tone, she informed him that she would let him off this time. On leaving the bus, she parted by telling him to “change your last name young man, no one wants to be named after a wooden pot.”
All Richard could do was to stammer a few short words during the entire tirade, there had not seemed to be any opportunity for him to talk further. He never even had been told her name, although, for some reason, she had reminded Richard of his mother. That night, he told his family about this strange, although very neat and fancy girl that he had met that day.
Chapter Two
We now move forward into the future, Richard had graduated, having done well in math, and was able to get a job in the postal service in London. Among his responsibilities was the need to travel. When the post introduced a new product or service, we would travel to the out regions and explain it to the folks and businesses in that area. He found this somewhat difficult to do, considering how shy he was.
Hyacinth and Violet were the only two of the girls that had managed to graduate. Daisy had gone directly to a factory job at fifteen after leaving her Grammar School. Rose, who also left school at fifteen, never seemed to find anything much to her liking; she could not find any job that wouldn’t get in the way of her very busy social life. She spent the evenings in the local pub, drinking and smoking with her chums. Neither girl could even dream about attending a tech or Polytech School.
Hyacinth and Violet both sat for their O level exams, which they did well for.
Unfortunately their mother, who had been sick for years, succumbed to lung cancer, and the family fell somewhat apart. Their father retreated into himself even more, and Hyacinth found herself raising her sisters almost single-handedly.
Violet met and married Bruce, who was a turf accountant, (what would be called a bookie in America) and left quickly for a better life in a community far away from the working class neighborhood of her birth.
Hyacinth found herself to be more and more as the only bright beacon of civility in her drab life. She had found a job in a large company who specialized in arranging bulk-mailings for companies. She handled the purchase of stamps and supplies needed. Her desk stood out, being the only one that remained net and orderly.
She insisted on having a photo of the Royal Family on her wall in her view. She made a name for herself in the company. The workers dreaded seeing her. She often came down to their work area. She constantly insisted that they measure the exact spot on the envelopes before affixing the postage. During her visits, they seemed to all suddenly melt away and require bathroom breaks. She always wondered why she seemed to always be there alone. She also annoyed them further by wanting to check their hands for cleanliness after they left the bathrooms. “I will not have you touching the Queen’s picture with those dirty hands!” She caused a lot of strife in the firm, but management was happy with her on the whole. She was certainly honest, and never had any problems with the stamp monies.
Daisy had met and married a sloppy fellow that she worked with in her factory. Onslow Smythe moved in with them, and before long, was unemployed and on welfare. Daisy too lost her job a few months later and also went on welfare. Poor Daisy was not even given an engagement ring, Onslow could not afford it.
Hyacinth came home every day from work to a dirty disgusting mess. Onslow never wore a shirt over his vest, and his gut spread out, as did Daisys’.
Their father never much left his room. Violet always found reasons why she was not able to visit or call them. Hyacinth would always brag about Violet to her fiends and co-workers. She showed them photos of Violet saying: “This is ma sister Violet; she married a turf-accountant. She lives in a beautiful house with her Mercedes, pool, and room for a pony.” Rose who seemed to always have some guy visiting, never found Mr. Right.
Hyacinth’s very dear grand-mamma died one cold February morning. She left her Royal Doulton china and figurines to the only person who she felt would appreciate them. Truthfully, nobody else in the family wanted them anyways. Hyacinth took to drinking her tea in them, feeling a momentary poshness. Her family continued to use the other broken and chipped crockery without comment, continuing their disgusting habit of smacking their lips with each sip.
Chapter Three
Two years later, Hyacinth was attending a seminar arranged by the post office. It seemed that most firms were switching to new modern postal machines that no longer required stamps. She was incensed that her letters would no longer carry and image of the Queen on them, but instead, some soul-less postal imprint in red smudged ink.