Building a Godly Marriage
Relational Self Help Series
Trennis E. Killian
Smashwords Edition
Copyright © 2010 by Trennis E. Killian
The paperback edition of this book may be obtained at www.trenniskillian.com.
Unless otherwise noted, all Scripture quotations are taken from the Holman Christian Standard Bible ®, Copyright © 1999, 2000, 2002, 2003 by Holman Bible Publishers. Used by permission. Holman Christian Standard Bible®, Holman CSB® and HCSB® are federally registered trademarks of the Holman Bible Publishers.
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The Relational Self Help Series
by Trennis E. Killian
The Relational Self Help Series addresses most issues of relationships. Here are the titles published to date.
Beware of Abusive Behavior
Basic Counseling for Pastors and Other Church Leaders
Building a Godly Marriage
Conquering Grief
Controlling Your Reactions
Crisis Intervention/Suicide Prevention
Planning Communication
Relational Self Help Collection, Vol. I
There are more books coming in this series, please look for them at: www.trenniskillian.com.
Other Nonfictions Books
by Trennis E. Killian
Victory over Gambling: Leading Compulsive Gamblers to Freedom in Christ
Victory over Gambling: Workbook
Novels
by Trennis E Killian
The Real Beginning
For information or to purchase one of these titles either in paperback or EBook form, please go to www.trenniskillian.com.
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Chapter One - Before You Marry
Chapter Two - Working Together
Chapter Five - Abusive Behavior
Chapter Six - Interpersonal Relations
Chapter Seven - External Pressures
Chapter Nine - Put It All Together
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Building a Godly Marriage is the second of the expanded books in the Relational Self Help Series. This book is not intended to be the answer to all marital problems. It is intended to be a guide for couples to be able to get their marriages on track with God's will and keep it there.
I have attempted to show, by using numerous Bible passages, not only what God wants a marriage to be, but also how He expects us to go about it.
I think Premarital Counseling is one of the most important steps a couple can take when they contemplate marriage. It should be done before they even set a wedding date, definitely before they order invitations. This is because I feel that many marriages should never happen. I know that's a bold statement, but I stand by it. I have seen too many couples and counseled many of them who never should have gotten married in the first place.
For this reason, I have included Chapter One, Before You Marry. If you want a Godly marriage, you need to start with two people who at least want to be close to the Lord. Therefore, the best way to have a Godly marriage is to start it off that way.
As I mention later, the best way for a marriage to stay Godly is to practice a little preventive maintenance. That means that if both spouses treat each other right from the beginning, then there will be no major problems to be dealt with along the way. This is what I discuss in Chapter Two, Working Together.
One of the most important aspects of any relationship, especially a marriage relationship, is communication. I feel that communication is so important that I devote a whole chapter to it, Chapter Three, Communication.
Compatibility or a lack thereof is important to a marriage. If you don't have perfect compatibility, you need to learn how to make your differences come together to form a Godly marriage. This is what Chapter Four, Compatibility is all about.
The horrible fact is that some marriages include an abusive relationship. This is such a crucial subject that, again, I have included an entire chapter on it, Chapter Five, Abusive Behavior. This chapter includes a list of what to look for in a potentially abusive person.
There are many situations that a marriage can fall into, and many of them are outlined in Chapter Six, Interpersonal Relations. Each situation is outlined with possible solutions listed as well.
Marriage would be easy if there was no outside influence, such as relatives, friends, and jobs. Chapter Seven, External Pressures, goes into each of these potential problem areas.
Many of the situations mentioned in Chapters Four through Seven cause many different reactions from either or both spouses. Chapter Eight, Reactions, deals with the most common of these reactions.
Finally, Chapter Nine, Put It All Together, does just that. It is a review of Chapter Two, which is really how the marriage should be all along.
Please, do not think that the suggestions in this book will solve every issue every time. There may come a time when you and your spouse will need professional counseling. Make sure that you go to a counselor who not only believes in and practices what the Bible teaches, but also will use the Bible along with prayer to help you.
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Pray
I always say that I don't give advice in my counseling, I simply help my client to list all possible options, and then they choose the one they feel is best for their needs. However, I will say this one thing, and you can take it as advice if you want. I like to think of it as a warning instead of advice.
The best way to build a Godly marriage is very simple. Choose your marriage partner prayerfully!
You need to spend as much time as necessary in determining whom you are going to marry. Remember, God looks at marriage as permanent. That means you are choosing your lifetime partner, not someone you can leave down the road if it doesn't work out. Therefore, find the marriage partner that God intended for you to have.
The first thing you must do is pray that God will guide you to the person He wants you to marry. Then, listen to Him, and follow His guidance. That means keep on praying as you meet and get to know the person you think you want to marry. Keep asking God to help you discern if this is His chosen mate for you.