Not All Kids Do Drugs -
Lessons in Drug Prevention:
Handbook One
Proactive Parenting Techniques
By
Miles To Go
Kelly Townsend, M.S. & Jonathan Scott
Not All Kids Do Drugs
Lessons in Drug Prevention: Handbook One
Proactive Parenting Techniques
Copyright © 2010 by Miles To Go, Kelly Townsend & Jonathan Scott
Smashwords Edition
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any means without express permission from the authors.
Ordering can be done at www.milestogodrugeducation.com
Kelly Townsend, M.S. & Jonathan Scott
This book was developed from the Parent Meeting Lecture created by Miles To Go for their
Drug Abuse Prevention Lecture Series. Miles To Go is based in Southern California.
The information contained in this book is meant to provide the reader with information for drug abuse prevention purposes only. It is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. A medical professional should be contacted immediately in cases of substance abuse and possible overdose.
While the authors have made every effort to provide accurate information and internet addresses at the time of publication, neither the publisher nor the authors assume any responsibility for errors or changes that occur after publication.
Smashwords Edition, License Notes
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Our Philosophy For This Book
Years ago, when we first considered writing this handbook, we decided that most people have little or no desire to curl up with a cup of cocoa and a drug abuse prevention book. We’ll never be considered a “fun read,” and we won’t make the “Top 10 books to bring to the beach.” We have compiled a selection of the most valuable information in a handbook format that we feel is user-friendly, accessible, and consumable in small blocks of time. This is the first in a series of handbooks that will provide anyone parenting or working with kids the tools needed to support their efforts to keep those kids safe in a world full of drugs.
This book is dedicated to all the parents who grudgingly came to our presentation and walked away saying, “That was the best presentation I ever went to.”
Table of Contents
Part One: Answering The Big Questions
Part Two: What Parents Need To Know
Part Three: How Did You Two Become The Drug Guys?
Answering The Big Questions
“All kids are going to do drugs, so why don’t we teach them how to use safely?"
We might as well start with this common parental assumption—all kids will eventually try drugs, especially alcohol. Since this is our starting point, it’s also where we’ll make our first stand:
NOT ALL KIDS DO DRUGS!!
We can’t tell you how often a parent in one of our presentations announces that, “All kids are going to do drugs.” Without fail, at least a couple of parents who stayed silent in the face of this all-knowing pronouncement approach us after the event ends and say, “I’ve never done a drug in my life,” or, “I’ve never had a drink or smoked a cigarette. Does that mean I can’t teach my kid about this subject?”
In our drug abuse prevention presentations for parents, we’ve always encouraged schools and parents to support the nonusers—because the users have the loudest voice and will drown out the voice of the nonusers. We are astonished that, despite all we know about the costs associated with teen drug use and adult drug abuse, large segments of our society still perceive users as the cool group. The party people are seen as popular and cool, and they reinforce this image with a language filled with terms nonusers might not understand. This special slang acts to bring the users together and exclude others. They also have an easy time finding like-minded others—they just go to a party, look around--and voila--instant peer group. The most vocal members of the party group, the ones that lord their drug knowledge over less exposed members of their class or school, are a special breed. We refer to them as drug bullies. Nonusers tend to be scattered among the chess players, the musicians, the athletes, the rock climbers, the actors. They don’t know each other, and they have a lot of difficulty identifying each other. These nonusers need encouragement to continue their conscious choice, and we need to actively encourage healthy alternatives to drug use.
A major problem, though, is that a few of these drug bullies don’t change when they reach adult age. The parent who stands up and says, “All kids are going to use,” may well be nothing more than an adult drug bully. The parent that doesn’t stand up and insist, “No, they aren’t,” is still being bullied and may still to this day feel uncool about their lack of drug experience. They have told us repeatedly that they don’t feel they have enough knowledge to speak up about the subject because they are not part of the supposed “in-crowd.” They are the parents who don’t get invited to, or choose not to attend, the parties where binge drinking is happening. They also don’t attend parties where marijuana is smoked and everyone pretends it’s cool as long as their kids aren’t around to see it.
We’ve been teaching drug abuse prevention education in schools for a long time, and one of the things we are sure of is that not all kids do drugs. We’ve had many students get in touch with us years after they saw our program to tell us they still haven’t used drugs. Many are now married and starting families and careers of their own, and they did it without falling prey to the silly notion that all kids are supposed to use drugs as a part of growing up.
Of course, it would be foolish for us to think that out of the 10,000 kids we teach each year not one would drink or get high—far from it. We have also heard from some of those who did choose to drink or use drugs. Several of them told us that they stopped before they got into serious trouble; several others went into rehab sooner than they normally would have because of their knowledge that help was available. Many had friends in trouble and were able to help them find their way out of a bad situation. Unfortunately, there are some students we are no longer able to hear from, but that we hear of—they are the ones that didn’t make it out the other side of the decision to use. They are the ones who died.
Let’s Look At A Few Common Variations Of The Original Question:
1. “All kids will eventually use, so why not let them do it in the safety of our home?”
First, it is impossible to monitor a group of kids who are drinking and using drugs in your home unless you are a trained drug specialist or an ER doctor with all the meds and tools you’ll need in your bathroom medicine chest. If you think you will stop them from drinking and driving by taking away their car keys, we can tell you from experience that some of the kids are smarter than you are—they bring a second set of keys. If drunks want to drive, they will drive. Before you have your “safe” party, ask yourself these questions: “Can I tell the difference between a drunken, passed out teenager and a teenager who is in a drug-induced or alcoholic coma?” “How do I know if that teenager has alcohol poisoning?” “Do I know the complete health and addiction history of these people and their families?” “Do I know what other drugs and medications they may have used tonight?” If you don’t feel 100% confident about everything mentioned above, then you are not capable of taking care of a group of teen drug and alcohol users.
Actually, if you think about it, even if you are confident about all of the above, you are still not capable of taking care of a group of using teens—there are just too many variables to deal with effectively. With so many balls in the air at the same time, even a pro can miss something important.
A tragic story we heard while back east illustrates this point exactly. Some parents felt confident they could manage the mayhem associated with a teen drinking party, so they allowed the party to take place at their home. As expected, some of the teen attendees got really drunk, and a few even ended the evening getting sick all over themselves, but hey, that’s what it’s all about, right? Unfortunately, nobody thought to monitor the little sister of the teen host and the daughter of the parents allowing the party. She, in her effort to emulate the behaviors of the teens she so much wanted to be like, drank alcohol also. When she got drunk enough to feel ill, she went upstairs and lay down on her bed, where she proceeded to lapse into a coma.
We weren’t able to follow this story to its conclusion, but it does beg the question: Are you confident that these parents would act in a timely and responsible fashion if your child was the one passed out and possibly lapsing into a coma? They would certainly be aware that their participation in and sponsorship of illegal teen drinking would be frowned upon by the very authorities they would be calling. They may well fail to make the call in an effort to avoid the legal consequences that await them if they do. Their hesitancy may well cost your son or daughter their life.
2. “I lived through the 60’s, 70’s, or 80’s. I drank and smoked myself under the table, and nothing ever happened to me. Why can’t I take care of my child and teach them to use responsibly?”
If you are convinced you are a ninja parent and will not let your kid get hurt, you are kidding yourself. Are you certain that your kid’s drugs are the same drugs you were using 20 years or more ago? A lot has changed since then—the types of drugs that are available; their strength and purity; the way they are taken or used—all this and more has changed since the days of your past use.