Better Baby Sleep: A Handbook for Parents
by
Jane Stockly, M.S.
Illustrated by Ellen Surrey
Cover photo by Chemistry / Getty Images
Smashwords Edition
“Better Baby Sleep: A Handbook for Parents”
Copyright © 2010 by Jane L. Stockly, M.S.
Information about “Better Baby Sleep” is available at the author’s website:
“Better Baby Sleep: A Handbook for Parents” is available through select, online book retailers.
Smashwords Edition, License Notes
This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this ebook with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please visit smashwords.com or any authorized outlets and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.
Acknowledgments
Numerous people have offered their support and assistance in developing “Better Baby Sleep.” This book would not be as strong without their input. A special thank you goes to the faculty in the Family and Consumer Science Department, California State University, Northridge, and to my Parent Education colleagues at Glendale Community College. I also thank the many parents and professionals who provided thoughtful evaluations of this booklet. I am especially grateful to Carol Bloodworth, Anne Crump, Roberta Vadman and Jan Vunder, whose critical and timely feedback was invaluable.
A special acknowledgement goes to Ellen Surrey, whose illustrations make the book more inviting. I thank all of my family and friends on both sides of the Atlantic, who have always shown an interest in my work and given me constant support and encouragement, particularly my husband, Ed, and my daughters, Lauren and Katherine, who made it possible for me write this booklet with the additional understanding of what it is like to be a mum. That is invaluable!
Disclaimer
“Better Baby Sleep” contains information intended to help parents and caregivers understand infant sleep; however, the author is not a healthcare professional and the information provided cannot substitute for the medical expertise and advice available from a pediatrician or primary healthcare provider. The author assumes no responsibility or liability for any outcomes that result after reading this book. Parents and caregivers are encouraged to discuss their infants’ sleep with a qualified physician or healthcare professional.
Better Baby Sleep: A Handbook for Parents
By Jane Stockly, M.S.
Table of Contents
Chapter 1: For Parents and Caregivers
Chapter 2: The Ability to Self-Soothe
Chapter 3: Developing the Ability to Sleep Through the Night
Chapter 4: How Much Sleep Should My Child Get?
Chapter 5: Sleep By Age
Chapter 6: Sleep Safety
Chapter 7: Baby Has Trouble Sleeping?
Chapter 8: Baby Steps to Better Baby Sleep
Chapter 9: All Kinds of Families
Chapter 10: Enjoying Parenthood
Chapter 11: Appendices
Chapter 1: For Parents and Caregivers
Parents, this book is designed to help you understand your baby’s sleep. It provides important facts on infant sleep safety, as well as researched information that will help you develop the best way to manage your baby’s sleep and encourage even breast fed babies to learn to sleep through the night. It has been my experience in parent education that chronic, unresolved sleep issues can lead to severe sleep deprivation, which can be a formidable barrier to healthy parent/child bonding and the general enjoyment of parenthood.
There are no surefire solutions that guarantee a baby will get a good night’s sleep. I do not propose “no-cry sleep solutions,” or recommend letting every child “cry it out.” I do not offer any magical remedies. Your baby’s sleep is something you as a parent will have to learn how to handle, based on your knowledge, experience and your family.
Each baby is unique, and every family is different, with varying lifestyles and ideas about which strategies they feel comfortable implementing. You may have other children to care for, who have their own needs to be considered along with those of the baby. With the scientifically researched, practical information presented here, you should be in a position to better manage your family’s sleep needs and feel more confident in your ability to care for your baby.
Before she is able to sleep through the night, your baby needs to learn to self-soothe, to settle herself down to sleep without your help. Once she has learned to self-soothe, when she wakes up in the night, she will be able to fall back to a sound sleep on her own, without disturbing you.
When your baby sleeps a good portion of the night, this means you and your baby can both get enough rest and won’t be so tired. Lack of parental sleep impacts not only the parents’ sense of well-being, but also the way they interact with the baby; with other family members and particularly with any other children the parents may have. Excessive maternal tiredness can contribute to postnatal depression. When you are less tired, you may find you are able to enjoy your baby more and find bonding easier. A well-rested baby is usually in better spirits than one who is sleep-deprived, and the same holds true for a well-rested parent.
I am a parent of two daughters, both now in college. I know how tiring and how all-consuming it is to care for a baby 24 hours a day, seven days a week. I currently work as a parent education instructor at Glendale Community College in California; a program where parents from a variety of cultures and backgrounds bring their children, newborn to five years of age, to a child-friendly classroom environment, where they learn about child development and discuss various parenting issues.
Parents in my classes were the inspiration for this book. I have found that whatever their background, parents are often confused by all the information that is available on infant sleep, some of which is contradictory, culturally biased, and sometimes even judgmental. While some parents may not have any worries about getting enough sleep at night in this stage in their parenting, others are desperate for straightforward advice that will help them develop healthy sleep patterns in their babies and give them a chance to sleep undisturbed for a few hours at night. I know this, because every semester we welcome a new batch of sleep-deprived parents, many frazzled after breast-feeding their babies around the clock.
At our parent education program, I have often been asked to teach a special session on infant sleep for other teachers. One day while I introduced my lesson for encouraging sleep at night, I noticed one exhausted mother sitting back in her chair with her arms crossed, shaking her head in disagreement. She said she believed mothers who breast-fed could not possibly expect their babies to sleep well. After I replied that I exclusively breast-fed both of my babies, and that starting about three months of age they usually slept uninterrupted from 10 p.m. until 6 a.m., I had her attention for the entire sleep lesson.
A few months later I taught that class again, and the same mother was there, looking well-rested and cheerful, “I remember you, you’re the Sleep Lady,” she said as soon as she saw me. “You were a big help. I’m having a great time with my baby. I’m still breast-feeding and she sleeps through the night.”
Her experience sums up the purpose of this book. I want all parents to have a great time with their babies and to form wonderful attachments with them, which are at the core of healthy child development. I think this is more likely if everyone gets the sleep they need.
I have worked with families and young children in varying capacities for close to 30 years. I hold a Nursery Nursing Diploma, from the United Kingdom; an Associate of Arts Degree in Social Science, from Glendale Community College; and a Bachelors Degree in Human Development, from Pacific Oaks College. This book is the culmination project of a Master of Science Degree in Family and Consumer Sciences, from California State University Northridge (CSUN), where my focus was Family Studies and Parent Education. “Better Baby Sleep” is a product of research and study, combined with knowledge I have gained through years of practical experience. Here it is, as short and sweet as I can make it. I hope it helps.
Chapter 2: The Ability to Self-Soothe
The key skill your baby has to master to develop good sleep habits at night is the ability to self-soothe himself to sleep. This means he learns to relax and fall asleep without anyone being there to help him. Then, when your baby has matured, at around four months, if he has the potential to sleep for longer periods, he can self-soothe in order to link two sleep cycles together, sleeping longer stretches. A sleep cycle in an infant lasts about four hours. For a baby to sleep from six to eight hours at a stretch, he must link two sleep cycles together. A few babies are able to link three sleep cycles together, sleeping 10 to 12 hours at a stretch (see the section on Infant Sleep Cycles, in Chapter 3).